“We need to talk.” Nobody likes to hear those words from their spouse. Especially when it’s delivered in a grave tone as you rot on a couch in a grubby blankie, staring like a zombie while doomscrolling.
“Wut?” I said, very intelligently.
What came next was a compassionate but firm speech about how I was in dire need of an intervention. My attention span, my spouse said, was utterly shot to hell. They’d just asked my opinion about something happening on the TV show we were…